Optimistic Outlook
Ecstatic over the smallest of things,
While galloping through the wind’s breeze.
Love and joy is what he brings,
Though he thinks it is fun to tease.
He views the world as only kind,
That no harm will ever come his way.
When in regards to reality he is blind,
For he thinks all results in a brighter day.
Never in a disposition of gloom,
Because he only have a positive stance.
His personality brings happiness to bloom.
And his puppy face puts everyone in a trance.
This carefree personality is my inspiration,
How everything causes him a sense of adoration.
I decided to write my poem in the form of a Shakespearean
sonnet. This is a form I have been familiar with, so I was more comfortable
with writing a poem with this form instead of attempting another form. I also
like this type of poem because it flows nicely and there are not too many rules
to follow. I only have to remember the number of lines and the simple rhyme
scheme. There is no set syllable rule to obey by. This form also fits the topic
of my poem. My poem is about my dog that thinks everything in the world is
perfect and does not see the bad in anything. He is very simplistic in
personality but sometimes I think deep into his personality to try to figure
out why he acts so happy. This poem form is similar to his personality. While
reading the poem it seems simple enough with it’s rhyme scheme, but this
structure is more complicated than it looks especially for someone who is
writing it. The three rhyming quadrants all express the characteristics of my
dog’s personality. The last two lines explain why I am writing about him. I
chose to write about my dog because I truly do look up to him as a way to be a
happy person even though he is just a dog. His love for all things intrigues me
and I wish that I could, all the time, be as happy as my dog, to be happy just
for happiness’ sake.
Raven:
ReplyDeleteI was surprised when you said that this poem was written about your dog. If you look back at your writing, there aren't any words that signal that this poem is about an animal of any sort. Yes, you refer to a "puppy face," but "puppy dog eyes" is often a metaphor used to describe people, and since this is poetry, I assumed you were using the term metaphorically. Even then, it wouldn't work, because puppy dog eyes is a cliche way to describe anyone or thing.
If this poem is supposed to be a dog, why not include concrete language and description that signals this fact? Instead of "the smallest things," why not give us a list of those things. Why not describe the beast--is he wrinkly? Brindle? Soft or coarse? Right now, the language of the poem is vague and abstract, and there's no real image for the reader to cling to. The only thing telegraphed is the subject's carefree attitude toward the world, which isn't very interesting on its own. How can you make this uniquely about your dog? What concrete words, images, descriptions could you include to make this more visceral and rich?